They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
