Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
