Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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