Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize