the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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