Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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