found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
