Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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