Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Someone signed my nipple.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize