Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
So much Jack, so little girl.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize