You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
