State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
