about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
