Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
