After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
