Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
