and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
