I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
