the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
