There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
