Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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