She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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