Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
