her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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