Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
