The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
