So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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