Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize