just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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