I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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