We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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