Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
