It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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