He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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