I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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