He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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