you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
