My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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