Walk of Shame. In a state park.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
