Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Two words: nipple clamps
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