thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize