We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Never joke about your clitoris.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
