Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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