i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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