how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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