I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
