when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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