You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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