This girl is more easily done than said...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
