she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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