Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?

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  (248) 3:38a: you guys up to anything right now? http://tfl.nu/ssfd
  Replies (9) Good night (1393) Bad night (852) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad

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  (443): just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad http://tfl.nu/g8m9
  Replies (3) Good night (604) Bad night (2610) Order T-Shirt
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!

  (1-520): View more from Arizona

  what?

  (520): View more from Arizona

  YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!

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  (520): JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP! (1-520): what? (520): YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?! http://tfl.nu/3cop
  Replies (38) Good night (681) Bad night (3972)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous

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  (204): She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous http://tfl.nu/ntwa
  Replies (17) Good night (8738) Bad night (582) Order T-Shirt
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air

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  (952): You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air http://tfl.nu/002i
  Replies (6) Good night (1207) Bad night (3847) Order T-Shirt
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!

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  (931): On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse! http://tfl.nu/2usg
  Replies (2) Good night (1968) Bad night (790) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.

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  (250): God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not. http://tfl.nu/2nya
  Replies (6) Good night (1986) Bad night (443) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him

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  (419): I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him http://tfl.nu/czew
  Replies (5) Good night (1393) Bad night (385)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.

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  (312): It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over. http://tfl.nu/eihc
  Replies (3) Good night (745) Bad night (247) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something

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  (203): wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something http://tfl.nu/kee0
  Replies (4) Good night (799) Bad night (304) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.

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  (678): Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it! (770): Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you. http://tfl.nu/kg3y
  Replies (10) Good night (1669) Bad night (291)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?

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  (617): How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism? http://tfl.nu/bpr0
  Replies (10) Good night (753) Bad night (273) Order T-Shirt
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.

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  (574): He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle. http://tfl.nu/u8g2
  Replies (4) Good night (265) Bad night (963) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun

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  (716): I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun http://tfl.nu/488y
  Replies (0) Good night (698) Bad night (184) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.

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  (770): Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer. (770): Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand. http://tfl.nu/1fds
  Replies (7) Good night (761) Bad night (245)

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