i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
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Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?