So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
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No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
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She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?