Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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