if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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