IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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