No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
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He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
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That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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