I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
ugly people sure do ruin things
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I think people are normalizing furries
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
