apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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