finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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