What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
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Why is there bacon braided in my hair
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
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Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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