rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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