i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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