He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I look better un-naked...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
