You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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